After recent events which I will touch on in a few minutes I have had cause to stop and think about this concept or idea of positive thinking.  I think what planted the seed was when recently I was attending a mindfulness course held by, amazingly enough, by the health and safety manager where I’m presently working.  I was talking with some colleagues that were there but who worked in other departments to mine. One of them was talking about something or other and as is my habit I re-framed their experience and relayed it back to her in a more positive light. She and her friend said something about what I said like it was a bit “blue sky” and I guess the course presenter had overheard the exchange and said something like, “Oh what, is he doing all the positive thinking stuff!?”. My immediate reaction was at first surprise that what I had said back had to have a label. “Positive thinking stuff” like it was some new business or management buzzword.

For me, I have over time sporadically studied many forms of what could be labelled as positive thinking for years…Years and years, if truth be told. People may say, well you have been doing all that positive thinking crap but I don’t think it does any good just hiding your head in the sand. You have to live in the real world. What do they mean by that exactly? Is it that “shit happens” and so you just have be content with that and lay there in it? Well I guess we have all had our fair share of shit happening to us. (Though even with that last sentence, something in me wants to dissect it, as it says happening TO us. Is that what is going on, really?). I understand that life situations come up that we wouldn’t ordinary choose, like death of a loved one, losing money or a business or a job, but we still have a choice as to what we think and do about it.

Positive Thinking Crap
This morning I watched a TED talk on my iPhone. Showed it to my partner and after it was finished we discussed some of the points made doing the video. The subject of the law of attraction came up again. The lady on the video had told the story of death occurring in her family. First with her mother then her husband, and then her second husband’s father dying suddenly (over the space of a few years). As is often the cases when people glance over things that naturally occur like death and other “bad” things, people say that this “Law” isn’t reality. How can someone attract all this death into her life? Her message on the video was one of mental toughness. Not blaming outside things for you experiences. Accepting things for what they are but doing what is necessary to move forward and that will give you mental toughness. She didn’t cause them or do anything to them to cause them to die. They died. It was their death, not her’s and with that there were important life lessons that came of it for her that eventually she was able to realize and share.

Our situation was that we had a car run into the back of our car. Fortunately no one was hurt. There was more damage to the other car, and skipping some of the drama in-between that occurred, we were able to drive away unlike the guy who ran into us. Did we attract the collision? In her case it wasn’t down to her. Our collision was something a little closer to home and conjures a big discussion that goes like this. I said, “Gosh, we were so lucky that we were able to drive away, and that there was minimal damage. We were also so lucky that police officer happened to drive by just when he did, and could orchestra things including the guy who run into us. (The driver was drunk, very disagreeable, uninsured and probably would have run off. Had he not threatened me and argued with the policemen and got himself breathalysed and then arrested). My partner on the other hand saw things differently. To her it was, “yeah, but there is some scratches to the car, he had no insurance so we’ll have to pay for everything and even if we go through insurance the excess is £££ which I shouldn’t have to pay it’s not fair. How did I attract that?”

True you might say but which line of though makes you feel better about life, the first or the second way?

One blames outside things on what is wrong with life and in some ways is a victim mentally. Which to me I always try to avoid as if there was anything that appears to be a sign of weakness, that is one of the biggest. The first way just makes me feel better about life. It kind of empowers me to take a step in the right direction rather than shrink. You might say that it cultivates the ground for mental toughness.

Now here’s the really cool bit!
A week ago Susan said to me, “Colin, could you get the front tyres checked as they look a bit low and if we have an accident, even if it’s not our fault we’ll be in trouble!” A week later we’re in an accident that’s not our fault. (Fortunately I had done what she asked and all was all okay).

Now you, like her, might say “yeah, that’s a coincidence that could have happened anyway”.

Maybe… maybe not!

When I reminded her of what she said, she returned, “Oh god, that’s ridiculous. Doesn’t that mean that we have to go through our lives being frightened to even speak now?” I replied, “No, just be aware of what you really do want to have happen speak about that instead of the opposite. Why not speak about what you want and instead of what you don’t want.”

The world appears to be very fertile and seems to grow whatever we plant in it. So when we talk about what we don’t want we’ll notice “those” kind of things end up being very significant in our life. If we talk about what we DO want, we’ll notice that these kinds of things become very significant in our lives too. This realization gives me great sense of relief.

Why?

It puts me more in the driver’s seat. If we want good things to come our way then only look to the good as much as possible. When this becomes the norm then fear is not an issue, PLUS, if you had the choice and you could have anything you wanted happen for you, which would you choose, what you did want or what you didn’t? What would you have to fear if that was indeed true?

Yes, Indeed it has and in fact I hadn't realized this until yesterday when SueCat and I were hanging out with some neighbors at a street BBQ in the close where we live. One of the neighbors stopped me and said "I saw your picture in a magazine, I'll just pop home and get it!" I almost broke out in a cold sweat at the thought that he might have mistaken me for someone else in the "Have You Seen This Man?" in the crime section of the EDP (Eastern Daily Press) (do they even have a section like this?) or something. My mind raced to try and work out what it could be, in order to prepare for my response.

Fortunately I guessed it could (and should only be) when SueCat and I attended Ruby Wax book signing in Norwich at the beginning of the year. Luckily what the neighbor returned with was a double page spread showing a collage of photos of attendees of the event include what I must say was a really nice picture of SueCat and I. It was one of the page spreads that you see in the Gossip or society sections of Hello (or the Sun, depending whether your a milk before the tea or a tea before the milk kind of person). I was rather impressed, cos' often I'd looked at these kind of things in magazines and wondered what it would be like to be at one of those functions and low and behold there we were. 

Going back to that BBQ things yesterday, and after I'd finished signing autographs, amongst the various people I talked to, which tended to centre back to the upcoming EU "In or Out" elections, SueCat and I got in to conversations with a neighbor who was genuinely interested to know what Ruby Wax was really like. I explained that truly what you see on TV or on TED is what you get and because of that you feel you already know her. Some how she (the neighbor, not Ruby) came to relay that she had a recently lost her mother and was finding it a little harder to coupe with compared to the time she lost her father. SueCat said "oh, you need to talk to Colin he's set you straight on that". Saying that as I too had lost my mother rather too suddenly but had managed to stay on the right side of right After coming through that process though I'd manage to establish for myself some ideals and beliefs that work for me. I can't say they'll work for anyone else but they worked for me and helped me make at least a little sense of what had happened. I like things to make sense. After all, I worked with computers all day long where things "should" make sense - they often don't, but you know what I mean.

What happened?
To me it just came together. What helped was my mother's faith. She was a Jehovah's Witness. Althogh I was never a saint growiing up, I never had a problem with it. I'd hear people saying mainly negative things about this religion, that they were a pain with all their door to door activity. To me this just made sense. After all if you had some really good news and knew a way tht might help people wouldn't you want to share? 

I'm sure you would. Well if you know anything about the bible there was more than a few occassions where atleast 12 dudes went out and spread the good word.

Anyway on the few occasions that I'd accompanied my mum to the local Kingdom Hall I was always happy to be there with her. Reading the scriptures during the service and being happy at how happy she was having me there and proudly introducing me to her church friends their. Yes, her faith endured until the very end and it is in knowing how stong she was in her faith that made it a natural thing to take my eyes off myself and my feelings of helplessness and loss that caused me to turn it all around and focus on what she believed that dying was simply the order of things. That everything happens just so. No need to fuss or carry on, just allow the laws to take over and be so. Just as Summer is followed by the FalI (or Autumn). We never ever question this. This is as natural as rain. One of the things that struck me though is how stuck we are to the concept of physical life. We are so glued to the belief that physical life is everything. This could be our biggest shackle in truly living a life. Just as there are people that think that Summer is everything. Remember we have to have autumn, winter  and spring. These seasons are essential if we want a successful harvest in the summer.

This interpreted to me in my head as a logical belief that "Matter" can not be destroyed it can only be converted to something else. Her physical being had run it's course, yes! That is the order of things and cannot be anything else for all of us. BUT, here's the thing. We are, I believe more than just our physical self. Even if you don't believe in a supreme being, all that you are your thoughts and being and existence is ultimately pure energy. Energy can not be destroyed, so to me it's still there. I believe there is a collective consciousness that goes beyond the physical, or that which we see. I don't really have time to go deep into here but simply say that there are laws that we experience everyday and rely on them constantly and without question. Gravity being one of them. We can't see it but we experience it's effects Therefore we have no doubt that when we drop our toast it's going down even if we can't always tell which side it's going to land on!

There are other laws that are invisible but that act upon all of us. We see it's effects. Yes, yes we do. As a clue think about times when you've had a hunch or  that gut feeling which has turned out to be just right. Could that be one of the invisible laws?

I thiese kind of things are bold straight laws of the universe and yet are intelligence makes us turn awy from it and seek to tell ourselves how life should work rather than what it really is and we keep trying and trying rather than going with the flow...

Well thank you for reading all the way to the bottom here. All the best

​

The winters in Scandinavia seem to last months and months it seems. Maybe that’s why there is so many traditions that celebrate the warmer seasons. The arrival is a real big deal and after months of ice and snow and many dark evenings I don’t blame them at all.

Right now I’m heading down to London to meet with my young son Aris and I just had a flash back to those month when I’d lived in Sweden from August 2010 to Feb 2012 and the last days in Scandinavia after spending just short of 18 months there. Those 18 months were both the most challenging period of my entire life, though for many weeks after my return to the UK I had a slight tinge of regret at the deviation from straight-line that was my life before I’d embarked on the whole chapter and where it had taken me. On reflection and from what I have learned about how the framing of life events can allow you to see benefits to what seemed like hell on earth and the biggest mess of my life at the time.  Don’t get me wrong there were of course many smiles and laughter and experiences to appreciate but…!

Let’s get down to it though I’ll start the end…

The Last Quarter - Everyone Wants Sunshine

After parting company on not to friendly terms with my girlfriend there, a real beauty and the reason I found myself in Sweden in the first place, I fell through the cracks and somehow found myself living the basement of a large house on the other side town. The house was owned by the girlfriend of a real scoundrel of a South African fella I befriended at the language school I’d been attending. This chance acquaintance was like many things a blessing and course at the same time. I was blessed that I had someone to park myself after my relationship ended. It also allowed me the tranquillity to regroup and set up camp and plan the next chapter. Unfortunately the scoundrel was also quite manipulative and of entirely dubious character. I should have guess really after hearing him blatantly lying to his Swedish girlfriend that he was at work when really he was just hanging out with me while I worked as a vehicle diagnostic system install for Honda. The lies did come thick and fast after that to my detriment after I generously pulled some strings to get him work doing what I was doing too, that left me several thousand kronor out of pocket.

Before all that unfolded the association did however paved the way to me getting my own set of wheel s, an old Volvo 740 that although had seen better years it was reliable and allowed me to end renting cars and get around Sweden on my own steam. I must confess I was proud of the car as it represented my resourcefulness being reawakened out of the depths of despare. A bit like a hero of mine "James Bond" (the Daniel Craig version) or "Jack Reacher" using ones wits to turn a minus into a plus while behind enemy lines so to speak.

Back to the car, it was owned by the Scoundrel´’s girlfriend’s friend’s  son. He’s got himself a much flashy vehicle. I think this was once his dad’s car and now it was just parked at the house out of the way. I expressed interest and soon the boy and his posse turned up. I kicked the tires, took it for a spin up the highway. On returning I wrestled with tires and made out that the wheel bearings where shot (… I had no know idea but it was worth a try). He did explain that it was prone to overheating as it had a problem with the radiator. In the end after throwing out random estimates of the cost of setting it right I squared with him. “Listen, at the end of the day you’ve already got a car and this is just taking up space, I’ll give you 1500kr right now and you’ll have got rid of it and you’ll have some really good beer money in your hand just like that”. It seemed with his entire posse there I’d read him right. He agreed and soon after I was the proud owner of my first Volvo and vehicle in a foreign country all for just what would equate to £150!!!

It came with it’s own Winter tyres which probably were worth 4 times what the car had cost me but they were at this point sitting in the boot. I headed to the local tyre shop as soon as I could as this beast need to be sea worthy for the following week. The owner of the shop was a rugged tall swede as expected who could probably lift the car with one hand and undo the wheel nuts with that other, then change the tyre without the use of machinery or tools by himself.

He looked over the tyres and noted that one would not be safe. He explained that if he were to change them it would explode after a time.  This wasn’t what I wanted to hear at all. I had little budget left for new tires and this would be significant change to fix plus he had a waiting list. It sounded unlikely he’d be able to get it done today. I must confess my chin was about to drop fearing that it wouldn’t be able to get the beast going. I then spotted a framed photo of a leather clad rider on the wall behind him that was speeding round some bend on a race track. I’d also seen possibly the same bike in the corner of the workshop as I walked through. With a smile I pointed the photo and remarked that’s a nice bike is that you? That was it, his mood changed from being too busy to deal with this strange English that could speak the language to now a fellow race bike enthusiast. We traded banter where told me where the photo was taken, and his bike heroes from days past with me interjecting with bikes I’d had and also bikes I’d admired from “back in the day”. After that a many minutes he stopped and walked over to a pile of tyres in the corner of the workshop and casually explained that he mike have a part warn tyre that may fit my wheel to replace the dodgy one and a few minutes later after checking several he hauled one out and preceded to as slick as a formula one pit crew processed the exchange not only of the faulty tyre but also fitting all 4 wheels with the winter set too

Bingo… That was it. I was set. I thanked him profusely and said we have to keep in touch for the bike season.

And there you have it. All those clichés and says are not without truth. If you give other what they want, you’re well on your way to getting what you want.

To be continued…

One of the interesting theories I've had for a many years is that as a species we've become quite dumb! How have I come by this conclusion?

Well simply that the best teachings and philosophies and thinkers seem to be from way back in ancient times and all we do is pick them up again dust them off and give them new cover and put them out again. After awhile of these thought of mine the phrase there is nothing new under the sun appears to be very real!
Everything we read in books or great revelations that we get bombed with at seminars if you dig a bit you'll uncover that it had been written or taught many many centuries ago. All this makes me lead to believe then that the world were full of super beings and over the years this knowledge and power had been forgotten. Maybe that explains the pyramids and Stone Henge and many more things we can't seem to explain.

But of course everything happens for a reason and if we are now rediscovering these lost treasures of wisdom and ways to use our mind coupled with even deeper knowledge of how the mind actually works then truly the time of the super-being is going to be here again.

An ex-girlfriend of mine had an interesting idea regarding the supposed end of the world that was to occur at the end of the Mayan calendar a few years ago. She believed that rather than the end of the physical world that we know was going to occur but the end of our present way of thinking, that the mindful consciousness was to be the new world in which we live. I think that this can not be disregarded. The end of dumb humans and it also made me want to let the brakes off on my own thinking and gallop towards this new world. A much more positive slant and way of seeing the future I think.

Well there you have it. The Summer of 2014...
"So how was it for you?"

I would say it was a good one. After all I am still here breathing air and still have all my limbs and faculties. That might sound a bit like I'm resigned to my fate but no, not really. When I look back over the terrain I've covered over the last 12 month I can see that all I have is exactly what I've asked for (good or bad). I tend not to look back too much though as I think it can easily allow you to get too critical. You should look back in order to find the answer or the lessons to be learnt for the present.

Spent time with friends in Spain at the Enlightened Warrior camp. Such fun and a dream come true. I had been saying over and over "am at the Enlightened Warrior Training camp in 2014" for months without a real plan of how I was going to get there. What happened over the 5 months before I actually went was things started lining up and before long I was booked and ready and then stepping off a Norwegian airlines flight in Barcelona, Spain. I was there as a member of the crew and that was a very enrichening experience. My energy levels went off the charts and I like to believe that was a benefit and energized all I came in contact with too. Also my business enterprises including Fish2Fish Dating are continuing to bring fruit even without me contorting myself and getting stressed over them. I have enjoyed have chance to own and ride one of my favorite motorcycles of all time the original Kawasaki Ninja. This time the GPz 750 the little brother to the daddy of all sports bikes the GPz900. I'm please that after buying in for just 485 quid off eBay and doing all my own work it gives untold please and as well as hurtles down the highway with girlfriend Sue on the back up to 130 mph!

I recently took a sunday trip to my old stomping ground where I went to school and grew up, a tiny town by the name of Kessingland on the bike. Pulling in to the residential area I had to (just had to) wind up the Ninja's horse and let them gallop like crazy around Lloyds avenue. Lloyds avenue is like a link road joining Field Lane and Church Road in the village. I last rattle round there on my Yamaha RD350LC. This time it was just as fun. I like terrorising the neighbours... Tee, Hee!

Lessons Learned

I have read a few things recently and although I wouldn't say I was a bookworm now that I could maybe possibly, maybe getting
a little more mature things are starting to make a bit of sense.

One of the things I have learned is that everything we have we've asked for. I hear you say "What crap!" but hear me out. There is a theory that says everything in life has a frequency, like radio waves. I could say for sure weather this is science fact but I do believe this theory makes things a lot easier to picture. Anyway everything having a particular frequency or vibration attracts or resonates with frequency that are the same as itself. Now stay with me on this one.... Everything you have in your life is a match to your own frequency within. That frequency within is usually attributed to your thoughts. In otherwords if you have a particular base thought or feeling inside other things outside and around you will be drawn to you as a match.

The bottomline is that we all have had experience of this phenomena in the past but never latched onto it. Of course some of us have and are able to utilize things to there advantage. Examples of this are those people that appear to always come up smelling of roses. Everything they do works out in the end. They seem to just glide through life. That is purely a manifestation of their thoughts and feelings as a vibration attracting matching situations to them.

Of course we have also had situations in our lives where things flowed in a good way. We went for a job we thought was ideal but didn't get that one but minutes later a call or email comes in that offers you another that turns out to be just perfect even better than the first or you're when your single and had been anxious about finding a mate at some point that anxiousness subsides you are cool and happy within yourself and all of a sudden "BINGO" that man or girl of your dreams comes into your life. That is the matching vibration at work.

So no you can see that all you have is all you have asked for often without knowing. So I guess that next game you can play is to get your head in the game and start some really great vibes of what you really desire. Train you mind to be a match for what you want. Take regular moments to imagine what its like to have exactly what you want in life. With the feeling of already having it manifest that matching vibration of that object of your desire. After all you have been doing that all your life to this point, now the trick is be the driver and not the passenger.

Until next time

Hello and welcome again....
Wednesday was my last day at my work in London. Was a tinged with a bit of sadness (a tiny bit) as I had the pleasure of working with some pretty unique characters there. I can't tell you the name of company but they have something to do with regulation of the railways. Another shame is that I was in the city close to Covent Garden and Piccadilly Circus etc. which meant I was also close to the some new friends I'd made at the Tony Robbins UPW event last month (March 2014). 

To round out the day I'd was blessed with notification arriving on my phone that I'd made two says on eBay using the brilliant D$ Domination system which meant that I have an inexhaustible supply of products to sell, the customer get free delivery, I get cash with profits paid straight into my Paypal account and all is happy...

Talking of eBay Thursday I collected my new toy and means to get to work at my new employ up here in Diss, Norfolk. What a mission that was. Collect the van, get the cash for bank before they closed, try stay luvvy dovey with my wonderful girlfriend who was trying to navigate with the not so wonderful iPhone GPS led us up someone's garden path and other weird places on our way to Basildon in Essex to collect my Kawasaki GPZ 750 Ninja motorcycle. I impressed myself that I can still drive after not being behind the wheel for half a year. I get the feeling my SueCat thinks I got my license out of a CornFlakes packet. I'm beginning to wounder too. 

Friday
Still off work, I start new job on Monday. We were so tired after last nights driving around that I just parked the van and left the Tom (after Mr. Cruise Top Gun where he had the 900cc version) the Ninja in the back.

Managed to find an old desk table top in the garage and after checking several times for safety put my warrior spirit and courage into action to get the Tom of the van. Tom unlike his name sake is very heavy indeed so it was very scary. Did it though some how. I think I actually closed my eyes at some point as I let the brakes go and rolled back of the my makeshift ramp. 

Yeah...Boy!
Just has to start it up and take it for a spin up and down the close. Feels good. Really good. I'll need to strip it and check it but let just say "Hi!" to Tom and welcome him to the family. 

Colin the Laughing Puma

The Coach Station. I Walk Amongst You
Sitting here at the coach station, headphones on listening to some dreamy dance trance. I’m in observer mode again. The world is slower and everything is of interest. Everything that my eyes drink… A young Muslim girl in a matching citrus green coat to her mother’s stares at me, like one cat to another that knows there is something unusual swirling in my head. She shifts uneasily, disconnects and mutters to her mother then only occasionally does her eyes look up. The black youth a few seats to their right looks bored and too also stares at me but his eyes dart away when my stare meets his.

30 minutes to go before the bus ships out to Norwich and hang with my dad, and also Christmas dinner with my ex-girlfriend on Christmas day. I have to confess I’m not a fan of Christmas. I know I could get excited if I chose to be, but I chose not. Still, there is plenty to feed my eyes and nourish my mind of thought. The normal people… humans. I long since realized that I’m outside of all that. The girl is staring at me again but this time it’s me that looks away. The volume of the music dips and I hear the sound of another text coming through on my iPhone.  As I pull the phone out of my pocket the music stops altogether as a phone call comes in. It’s my brother, Ian. He meets my words with the same level of festive enthusiasm.

We chat for a while and he rings off. I remember the text and glance down to see it’s the ex-girlfriend. She’s rattling around her house doing stuff for Christmas and my arrival for lunch tomorrow. In my case it’s one foot in front of the other and I’ll be there. She’s was no cat at all, Catholic, I sensed that Christmas was like the highlight on the calendar, just like some desperate retail store banking on a good Christmas period to sustain them through to the next.

The Morning Mission
My mind flicks back to the journey into work earlier this afternoon through all the disruption of last night’s severe storms. Trains were out left right and centre. I had got to East Croydon about 15 minutes later than I’d like to have done. The only train leaving that station was 8 minutes after I was due to be at work so that’s no good. I overheard one of the rail staff saying that getting to Mitcham Junction by Tram would give the greatest chance to get to London. Once I digested what that meant I scampered off. Charged towards the tram plan with a plan formulating, so much so that a family had to part holding hands as they sauntered towards me and in my way but in last panic separating like the red sea as my movements told them I wouldn't yield. Soon I was on the Tram to Wimbledon, though I’d get off at Mitcham. I sat and answered a text from the ex. Her reply was a finger in the ribs and I had to flick that mess from my mind. I was something about that I should have got moving earlier as she’d warned me about the rail problems 3 hours before. What the hell use was that to me? Was this meant to help her feel better as a "kind of told you so" smug-ness? Definitely not a cat. For a cat, focusing on solutions rather than telling everyone I'm so great is more productive. Their actions will do the talking.

On arrival at Mitcham Junction I skip across the lines to the rail platform but next the train won’t be there for over 20 minutes. I go in to pursuit mode now. Like an android alien bounty hunter mission that will not be denied. I prod the iPhone to the Rail app and see what it says about getting to London from here. It tells me that there should be a train in less than 10 minutes but services are disrupted due to the weather. Rail travel is fucked, so forget that. What do we have next, what is working? Trams and Underground!

Plan 3 is locked in place. Get to the nearest tube station. Wimbledon is one but that’s the district line which meant too  many changes to get to where I need to be. Morden station will do it. Would mean a tram to Morden Road then a run from there to Morden Underground on the Northern Line. Sorted… let’s get it done. 6 minutes I’m on the tram, and less than 20 later arriving at Morden Road. An oriental dude runs up the steps to the street level and I’m right behind him. Despite these heavy Timberland boots, thick waterproof trousers, heavy backpack stuffed with clothes he’s actually holding me up. On the street now, I switch to "get there" mode and start to run. No, I will not stop its, ¾ of a mile away and I will not stop until I get there.

Fine Feline
Once there I get through the barriers and head down the stairs. Each step is small and it takes many yards down before I click in the rhythm and fly down.  I’d scoped the platform signs before reaching the bottom so when I got there just swung to the right and to the Northbound Northern Line. Not brilliant as the next train was via Bank and I needed Waterloo. I’d have to change at Kennington. As looked down from the sign I saw a slim smartly dressed lady older than me standing without a smile. She wasn’t smiling and yet as an aristocratic cat she was captivating. Beautiful even, as everything seemed so well put together. Her eyes focus hawk like but wider. Thoughts! I was moved to tell her that she had such elegance but didn’t manage to break out from myself. I continued to take long sips at her features. Her eyes, more green than blue but not green. The more I drank the more I felt I knew about her. Yes, she was definitely older than I by a significant amount but that meant nothing at all. Her hair was cut, styled and coloured a dark red/purple tinge matching a somewhat angular face perfectly. Her lipstick a real rose red.

I started to drift away, thinking of my own existing me and ex scrawny alley cat and what I could perhaps mean to a cat so complete. Ridiculous!!!

Soon it was time to get off at Kennington and she stayed. Once I stepped off my mind went back to android pursuit mode. I was thankful I was underground as I wouldn’t be comfortable write now with any more energy sapping texts. I’m in the hunt and have no need for petty distractions. The rest of the plan was to simple travel one stop to Waterloo and get off and run over the Bridge there. I would get shit hot over with that, as I was wearing insulated waterproof trousers and most of the clothes I’d needed for the next few day in Norfolk. I set a gear and pace that I could sustain and trotted over. 

Steaming
By the time I got to the office I was damp to the point that I was virtually steaming like racehorse in winter after the finishing line when peeled off my clothes I didn’t need there.

I pulled out the iPhone and texted the ex to say that I’d made it but not quitting as some had in the office. I’d instead done whatever it took. Yes, I was late by 20 minutes but I made it. There was only me and one other guy there as the other guy took the weather and rail disruption as a reason not to try.

The reply was again felt like another finger jab in the ribs wishing me to admit that I, after all that, in the end was still LATE!

An hour later I discovered that the meaning of that last text perhaps wasn’t quite what I thought, as she’d sent another that enquired if I’d arrived yet. Obviously some confusion…

I closed my eyes cat-like and could see the face, hair, eyes and lips of the lady on the underground, a much more enchanting vision. We Cat's are cool.

Success. Can You Handle It?

I once heard a phrase that since has changed my perception of life, especially when it comes to when shit happens. More recently I have come to understand this phrase even more deeply and it truly holds one of the keys to life as we live it. Hopefully through the following ramblings I can help you understand this very important concept. Here goes...

First thing you want to know though is what was that phrase I was referring to in the previous paragraph? Well it is simply this, and you can exchange the G word with one of your own beliefs or substitute in with the word "Life"!

Here it is:

    "God never gives you ANYTHING you cannot handle!"

I'm sure you've heard that before haven't you? Well when I first heard it I simply interpreted it fairly usefully that if you are given a tough time then it means you have the strength and guts to get through it. With what I now know about how things work is that this is a somewhat negative view. It is true of course you can handle it but it's in the context of looking down and not necessarily looking up. When looking up (positive view of your world) it means that you will receive the desired things you can handle. To illustrate what I'm getting at here's a story that was relayed to me recently by an old friend I'll call Mac. Mac is a very successful family man and has a young tearaway of a son that sound very much like me at that age (and even now)... anyway here's the story he told me as best as I can remember it:

Are you Ready?
That story perfectly sums up our lives. When you are ready to handle your desires you'll receive them. Think about it. Why would life give you 2 scoops if you couldn't yet handle 1?

I know I have in the past thought "Gosh, life is so unfair. So and so just walks in and the world bends over and they gets all the good things". Well more likely this "so and so" was more in a position to receive and handle the things he received. That's kind of how it goes and you can link this to anything in life you care to apply it. There is no victims out there we all get what we ask for and are ready to receive. Success! Can you handle it yet?

Face in the Direction You Want to Head In

Today I had a travelcard for Zone 5 for this week so today instead of catching the bus to Thornton Heath I ended up jogging to to East Croydon. I have to confess that I wasn't in the ideal mood to run. My muscles felt tired and my knees felt like a worn out gate hinge, but that only made me more determind to at not deny my self from doing what I knew I was capable of doing. To make it easy on myself I simply started jogging. Nothing tremendous at first but the key ingredient was I didn't look into the distance, I merely kept my eyes down on the road knowing that I was heading in the right direction. This way I wouldn't get overwhelmed by how far I still had to go I just had to make sure I was facing in the right direction and kept moving. If would see soon enough if I had to swerve to avoid anything or anyone in my way so it made the jog much easier. In fact without the mental energy used up on thinking about the distance I was able to speed up a bit, and then a bit more until I was galloping pretty quickly. Soon enough I was only 100 metres from the station and could look up and really sprint for the line. 

That experience got me thinking. We often heard that famous phrase or quotation, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. I don’t think there is one person on earth that could disagree with that statement. BUT…! But what? The but is that you need to know where you want to go. Everyone is putting one foot in front of the other right now. Even if you are feel you aren't, you are! You may however be taking steps forward and then turning around to face where you've just came from and taking your next steps in back in that direction, or simply just taking steps with no idea. You know what I mean don’t you? Yes, you do… I know that about you because, if you’re anything at all like me, then you've done this before and if you’re anything like me more than once!

It’s taken me many years to understand the concept of defining what it is that I want or simply the direction I want to go in. Very often I would in effect say I don’t care where I'm going as long as I don’t go back there! The effect was I went back “there” because the “there” dominated my thoughts even though said I no to whatever that was. Then other times I would think I want to be over there and it seemed easily possible and sooner or later and as natural as rain, I was over there, right where I wanted to be. I was on a roll. Then for some reason I would lose direction and veer off the track and into the wilderness again. I would wander around the wilderness, eventually get seriously fed up again and see where the target out of there and then get my life back on track again.

Well if any of you can relate to this then that’s fine. I don’t think it’s totally bad to have done this in fact I now can view it as an advantage. A bit like people that didn't pass there driving test first time (I actually passed first time both my Motorcycle and car driving tests, but until recently would never admit to being particular brilliant at either) it could be said that they are at an advantage as they will respect what it takes to drive a car, plus they have had more teaching. Those that passed first time could get a bit cocky or complacent.

The key to solving anything is, of course first and foremost, awareness. If you have no idea there is a problem to solve then you could be in trouble. One day if you may wake up to find that you are really far from where you want to be and maybe no idea where you would like to be. It can happen so easily too. Especially if you lose focus in any area in of your life and a reason why balance is the key... home, physical, spiritual, social, business/career etc. 

One of the things that you can do however is to get really deep down and maybe a little childish and ridiculous with it. What I mean by that is get a writing pad and a pencil or pen and pretend you're a kid again. Pretend you're going to create the ultimate Christmas list of all the things you would like to have or have happen. Go for it get ridiculous or outrageous. If you think it's too much what I would suggest is "GO DO IT ANYWAY!" What do you have to lose? Whenever I feel lost or of track give myself a physical shake and grab a pen and make like NIKE and just do it. You wanna know the cool thing about it too, is that I ALWAYS feel better after I've done this. Always!

I triggers new ideas gets the juices flowing again like a dog that's picked up the trail - which isn't too far from the truth, I'm off again.

I'll end here, but I urge you to give it a go. I dare you to start writing and see how cool it feels afterwards.