Habits, Thoughts and Response

As I have been galloping around the this place we call life I have come to realize somethings that although may not been the way of the universe they have given me a useful working perspective and framework in which to view and function in my life and the world around me. They aren't necessarily facts or written in stone as law but just ways that I have worked out for me. So if you don't agree that's fine. I'm no Einstein, and for that reason I'm totally open to here your take on what I have said here.

Emotional Excuses

At the end of the day there are somethings we can change and many things we can't. I believe our thoughts are (can be) totally under our control and we can change them if we choose to. We initially believe that's not the case and that is because of the way we (choose to) feel is something we have cultivated over many years to the point we believe that it is US. We label and categorize ourselves in a way to stay consistent with our self-image. Hanging on to the actions and emotional responses that make use consistent with the US we believe ourselves to be. In essence we give ourselves the excuse to feel what we want feel. We say things like HE upset me or why don't you do something to make me happy. 

They MADE your upset...REALLY?

Is it really up to others to make us happy? 

Is that more than a little bit limiting in our lives, OUR happiness being purely down to how someone else acts?

Yes, in some cases there are situations where it is difficult to glean any happiness from that could be pinpointed down to the actions of another. But we know of many people down through the ages to the present time etc. that have been placed in horrendous environments, much worse than anything we can even imagine but have placed there focus elsewhere and decided to squeeze good juice out of it somehow. 

For years as children we have practiced the habit of placing the blame on others for the way we feel. Maybe it was as a kid we would pout or act up in certain way that got us either sympathy or gained comfort in putting the ol' "guilt trip" on someone else that had upset us or made us sad, in order to get control over them and get the required response.

We give ourselves the excuse to turn on the emotional upset or sadness and may hang on to it until we feel the debt has been paid and we have gotten response we were seeking as it has seem to bring us some success. It is become US and as we all know we like to hang on to things that are comfortable or stay in the comfort zone of the familiar. 

Ultimately though as an adults we need to drop the habit of childhood and understand it all starts and ends with ourselves we have the choice to make our own meanings to things and to change our responses and thoughts to something more empowering. As you'll often hear me and other say "if you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always got! 

We can change our habits, and the first step is of course to understand we already have them, and we can form new empowering thoughts, responses and habits. Just in doing that can put us on a upward path that and mental muscle and change for the better.

Colin J Robertson