For me, I have over time sporadically studied many forms of what could be labelled as positive thinking for years…Years and years, if truth be told. People may say, well you have been doing all that positive thinking crap but I don’t think it does any good just hiding your head in the sand. You have to live in the real world. What do they mean by that exactly? Is it that “shit happens” and so you just have be content with that and lay there in it? Well I guess we have all had our fair share of shit happening to us. (Though even with that last sentence, something in me wants to dissect it, as it says happening TO us. Is that what is going on, really?). I understand that life situations come up that we wouldn’t ordinary choose, like death of a loved one, losing money or a business or a job, but we still have a choice as to what we think and do about it.
Positive Thinking Crap
This morning I watched a TED talk on my iPhone. Showed it to my partner and after it was finished we discussed some of the points made doing the video. The subject of the law of attraction came up again. The lady on the video had told the story of death occurring in her family. First with her mother then her husband, and then her second husband’s father dying suddenly (over the space of a few years). As is often the cases when people glance over things that naturally occur like death and other “bad” things, people say that this “Law” isn’t reality. How can someone attract all this death into her life? Her message on the video was one of mental toughness. Not blaming outside things for you experiences. Accepting things for what they are but doing what is necessary to move forward and that will give you mental toughness. She didn’t cause them or do anything to them to cause them to die. They died. It was their death, not her’s and with that there were important life lessons that came of it for her that eventually she was able to realize and share.
Our situation was that we had a car run into the back of our car. Fortunately no one was hurt. There was more damage to the other car, and skipping some of the drama in-between that occurred, we were able to drive away unlike the guy who ran into us. Did we attract the collision? In her case it wasn’t down to her. Our collision was something a little closer to home and conjures a big discussion that goes like this. I said, “Gosh, we were so lucky that we were able to drive away, and that there was minimal damage. We were also so lucky that police officer happened to drive by just when he did, and could orchestra things including the guy who run into us. (The driver was drunk, very disagreeable, uninsured and probably would have run off. Had he not threatened me and argued with the policemen and got himself breathalysed and then arrested). My partner on the other hand saw things differently. To her it was, “yeah, but there is some scratches to the car, he had no insurance so we’ll have to pay for everything and even if we go through insurance the excess is £££ which I shouldn’t have to pay it’s not fair. How did I attract that?”
True you might say but which line of though makes you feel better about life, the first or the second way?
One blames outside things on what is wrong with life and in some ways is a victim mentally. Which to me I always try to avoid as if there was anything that appears to be a sign of weakness, that is one of the biggest. The first way just makes me feel better about life. It kind of empowers me to take a step in the right direction rather than shrink. You might say that it cultivates the ground for mental toughness.
Now here’s the really cool bit!
A week ago Susan said to me, “Colin, could you get the front tyres checked as they look a bit low and if we have an accident, even if it’s not our fault we’ll be in trouble!” A week later we’re in an accident that’s not our fault. (Fortunately I had done what she asked and all was all okay).
Now you, like her, might say “yeah, that’s a coincidence that could have happened anyway”.
Maybe… maybe not!
When I reminded her of what she said, she returned, “Oh god, that’s ridiculous. Doesn’t that mean that we have to go through our lives being frightened to even speak now?” I replied, “No, just be aware of what you really do want to have happen speak about that instead of the opposite. Why not speak about what you want and instead of what you don’t want.”
The world appears to be very fertile and seems to grow whatever we plant in it. So when we talk about what we don’t want we’ll notice “those” kind of things end up being very significant in our life. If we talk about what we DO want, we’ll notice that these kinds of things become very significant in our lives too. This realization gives me great sense of relief.
It puts me more in the driver’s seat. If we want good things to come our way then only look to the good as much as possible. When this becomes the norm then fear is not an issue, PLUS, if you had the choice and you could have anything you wanted happen for you, which would you choose, what you did want or what you didn’t? What would you have to fear if that was indeed true?