Just to set the scene, I for a long time been really interested in women probably since about from the age of 2 or 3! This love of the fairer sex led to me starting a dating agency http://Fish2FishDating.co.uk (UK) and http://Fish2FishDating.com (USA only). Now to be honest it’s not really a dating site in my opinion, its and introduction site but I’ll explain later. Anyway one of the things that I have found is the biggest challenge is women my age and older have with their own self esteem. Self-esteem to me is like you special gift and it needs to be protected. Read on to find out how or at least why you need to protect and grow your self-esteem.
Know thy Self
One of the biggest challenges is knowing who you are and what you’re worth. First things first, regardless of where you are right now you need to understand your worth. It’s often we know when things aren't quite right when things appear to being going wrong. When a problem happens how do we react? Do we crash and burn, ending up crumpled in a heap for weeks or is it just a flick on the nose that stings but doesn't knock us over?
You can gage how you feel from instances that have occurred in your past. Like when you were so dialled in and riding high those things, that had they happened at another time would have floored you. Instead you just picked them off one by one and got through it all beautifully.
Having said that it is often women that I speak to with regard dating and relationships I have a guy friend, who I’ll refer to as Ashram, who recently had a girlfriend dump him saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. This dude was the real deal and a truly great guy, the thing that tipped him over the edge was that days later she was seen in an intimate embrace with another dude. This was the straw that broke the donkey’s back and he was in a bad way. I guess this opened up the age old question, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”
He felt rather like he had been pushed out of a plane with a dodge parachute. All seemed good, the view of sweet planet earth was wonderful until someone came along and cut the strings. Now he found himself plummeting. Fortunately rather than land with a splat on the ground he ended up landing in a large tree but still falling and tumbling through its branches. In his panic he had the presence of mind to stick his hands out to try to grab a branch or something to stop him hitting the ground hard. I'm happy to say that quickly what his hand grabbed was me in the way of a phone call. He wasn't in good state, sounding like Eeyore’s Widow. I always say though, that if you’re still able to speak about you problem then it could be worse. He spilled the beans and I listened.
You are worthy
I let him finish and for a brief moment there was total silence. Slowly but surely spoke to him and told him in several different ways with multiple examples something that is for sure the undeniable truth. There was no talk of how bad she was, or what he should have said to her to get his own back, I simply explained and instilled to him how much value he had as a person as my friend and what he’d achieved with what he had. You see his relationship problem wasn't the issue at all. It was just a symptom appeared larger than his self-esteem which made it more than he could handle. The fact he had the presence of mind to call me for support meant he had. So all I inadvertently did was to nurture that seed of hope. That point then grew into a tree much larger than the issue that would take a lot more than a dodgy relationship to shake it.
A week later I got a call from Ashram to say that he was totally over her and life was good again and thanked me for my support. Of course there was no way I would understand fully what it meant from his point of view but I believe it was quite a lot, simply by the sincerity of the way he thanked me. He even explained that his work colleagues had noticed that he had even more of a spring in his step too, likely because, as he said, that he now had stronger belief of his own worthiness.
And How about you?
I challenge you. Look at yourself and say do I know my own worthiness? In fact do yourself a favour and repeat to yourself:
“I am worthy. I am of immense value!”
Sounds daft I know, but if you are feeling anything less than love for yourself, you got to get hold of you. You got to fall head over heels in love with you!
Why?
Cos’ imagine this, if you don’t love who you are, why would anyone else?
Some may say yeah but someone will just love me for who I am. Yep, there are Good Samaritans that would look after any old stray that came along.
But what’s going to happen when you then recover and get into your own personal power?
There is likelihood that they’re mission in life is to look after strays and will then feel that you’re not the stray puppy you
used to be and therefore unless he changes relationship breakup anyway.
Always remember love and look after yourself, because you are THE most important person you’re ever likely to meet on this
planet.
One of the biggest challenges is knowing who you are and what you’re worth. First things first, regardless of where you are right now you need to understand your worth. It’s often we know when things aren't quite right when things appear to being going wrong. When a problem happens how do we react? Do we crash and burn, ending up crumpled in a heap for weeks or is it just a flick on the nose that stings but doesn't knock us over?
You can gage how you feel from instances that have occurred in your past. Like when you were so dialled in and riding high those things, that had they happened at another time would have floored you. Instead you just picked them off one by one and got through it all beautifully.
Having said that it is often women that I speak to with regard dating and relationships I have a guy friend, who I’ll refer to as Ashram, who recently had a girlfriend dump him saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. This dude was the real deal and a truly great guy, the thing that tipped him over the edge was that days later she was seen in an intimate embrace with another dude. This was the straw that broke the donkey’s back and he was in a bad way. I guess this opened up the age old question, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”
He felt rather like he had been pushed out of a plane with a dodge parachute. All seemed good, the view of sweet planet earth was wonderful until someone came along and cut the strings. Now he found himself plummeting. Fortunately rather than land with a splat on the ground he ended up landing in a large tree but still falling and tumbling through its branches. In his panic he had the presence of mind to stick his hands out to try to grab a branch or something to stop him hitting the ground hard. I'm happy to say that quickly what his hand grabbed was me in the way of a phone call. He wasn't in good state, sounding like Eeyore’s Widow. I always say though, that if you’re still able to speak about you problem then it could be worse. He spilled the beans and I listened.
You are worthy
I let him finish and for a brief moment there was total silence. Slowly but surely spoke to him and told him in several different ways with multiple examples something that is for sure the undeniable truth. There was no talk of how bad she was, or what he should have said to her to get his own back, I simply explained and instilled to him how much value he had as a person as my friend and what he’d achieved with what he had. You see his relationship problem wasn't the issue at all. It was just a symptom appeared larger than his self-esteem which made it more than he could handle. The fact he had the presence of mind to call me for support meant he had. So all I inadvertently did was to nurture that seed of hope. That point then grew into a tree much larger than the issue that would take a lot more than a dodgy relationship to shake it.
A week later I got a call from Ashram to say that he was totally over her and life was good again and thanked me for my support. Of course there was no way I would understand fully what it meant from his point of view but I believe it was quite a lot, simply by the sincerity of the way he thanked me. He even explained that his work colleagues had noticed that he had even more of a spring in his step too, likely because, as he said, that he now had stronger belief of his own worthiness.
And How about you?
I challenge you. Look at yourself and say do I know my own worthiness? In fact do yourself a favour and repeat to yourself:
“I am worthy. I am of immense value!”
Sounds daft I know, but if you are feeling anything less than love for yourself, you got to get hold of you. You got to fall head over heels in love with you!
Why?
Cos’ imagine this, if you don’t love who you are, why would anyone else?
Some may say yeah but someone will just love me for who I am. Yep, there are Good Samaritans that would look after any old stray that came along.
But what’s going to happen when you then recover and get into your own personal power?
There is likelihood that they’re mission in life is to look after strays and will then feel that you’re not the stray puppy you
used to be and therefore unless he changes relationship breakup anyway.
Always remember love and look after yourself, because you are THE most important person you’re ever likely to meet on this
planet.
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